Saturday, July 31, 2010

Coming Soon: Young Earth Petroleum

Now that I let the cat out of the bag in a comment at St. Eutychus's blog, I have to claim my turf: get ready for Young Earth Petroleum. A new kind of mineral exploration company. You won't find any secular geology practiced here. Instead, you know that your investment is safe with me, who will search for oil based on the only source of true information in the world: Scripture. Yes, this has been tried before: but what's different about Young Earth? Because, thanks to its president, Young Earth's exploration strategy is unbiased toward any particular denomination's Scriptural interpretation!

Stay tuned for more information about this exciting new opportunity - and if you have any experience designing logos, leave a comment below, because we're creating one right now.


RustyB said...

Maybe you can join me in the realistion of faster-than-light-travel.

God years are different from ours, so once we leave the "atmosphere" we move into God-time. Which explains why the stars are so far away, and the earth seems older than it is. (because in a God mirror, everything seems closer, but because of satan, everything is backwards).So it may seem further away. anyway, this PROOVES that God-time is way ahead of light year-time.

II Peter 3:8

vjack said...

I like it. I bet the Christian investors are already lining up.

Michael Caton said...

Now RustyB, think of a way to monetize it, and we can do something here. Why worry about monetizing your blog when you can monetize others' irrational beliefs? I'm comfortable with the game of life having a penalty for holding irrational beliefs, and I'm comfortable being the agent of that penalty. As long as everyone's above board with the deal and with their own beliefs, there's no ethical problem.

TGP said...

RustyB, reading your post gave me a contact high.

Mike, I'm amused by the Rapture Adoption folks, but I think you're reinventing the wheel with this YEP idea. If you want to capitalize on irrational beliefs, why not just become a homeopath?

Michael Caton said...

A ha! Therein lies the rub. Indeed, if I JUST want to make money, why go with homeopathy? That business model seems like it's about to get less profitable. Why not become a Christian televangelist? I can't smile like Joel Osteen but I can B.S. well. But then I'd be lying about my beliefs, and unethical. What the televangelists do to their followers and public discourse in general is bad, but it's not unethical as a trade deal unless they're lying about their position.

If what I really wanted was money, I wouldn't be trying to think of such a precious business opportunity. This is for maybe a few bucks but (more likely) some yuks and a rhetorical point.