Friday, December 21, 2012

Another Apocalypse, Another Party, And Religion is Even Sillier

Do you get annoyed every time some fruitbar or group thereof announces the end of the world?  Why get annoyed?  It's great!

Every time we have an apocalypse, the apocalyptic types think that they're going to get more followers out of it, claiming that we atheists have nothing like this to make us gather together because (warning:  sarcasm) people aren't able to reason for themselves, and fear and guilt are the only things that motivate human beings to do anything.  But this marketing gambit always ends up with more people realizing just how silly the whole enterprise is.  Last time it was Harold Camping, and SDNA's membership never grew faster!  This time it's the Mayans and the new agey types.  This morning I'm going to try to get over to a friend's office, where he's cracking beers to celebrate the end of the world this morning.  (He thinks he's starting at noon but I like to start the day early.  Priorities.  Plus beats a regular Friday Beer O'Clock celebration.)  I think we should encourage more nutbars to announce these apocalypseseses, because they're funny and they benefit atheism.  Come on guys, anyone else?  Muslims?  Scientologists?  Anti-vaxxers?  One of you yahoos has to have another one on the calendar!  In the meantime, allow me to share with you with this possibly relevant but still funny urban myth about Babe Ruth:

As you might imagine, Babe Ruth was not well-liked by the teams he played against, and there were some nasty personal and team-level rivalries as a result.  One opposing team thought they would be smart about it, and the night before a two-day series, invited Ruth out for a night of carousing to "bury the hatchet".  He accepted - to his detriment, because little did he know they were in fact just trying to get huge amounts of liquor down his throat, to biochemically wreck him in advance of the game the next day.

The night ended with Ruth's neurons firing at random just as the other team had planned.  However this did not occur without heavy collateral damage.  So it was the next day, all the opposing players stumbled out onto the field, clearly suffering from the preceding night's events.  And there was Ruth, appearing in top form, who went on to have an incredible game, single-handedly slugging the other team into submission and completely embarrassing them.

As the opposing team stumbled back off the field, Ruth called after them "Hey assholes!  Where we drinkin tonight?"

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